Slowly it turned into night with a dim moon. 1935 hrs was what my digital watch displayed. I have been sitting here for around 12 hours now with my gun, my sandwich and with all the pain.
The silence of Drass was penetrated every time the heavy guns roared. There was not a single movement seen on the streets. July 2nd India and Pakistan were at war over Kargil.
The only means of communication was through the rattling of bullets. The longer we asked the questions, the longer the answers we received.
I was on a rooftop probably a school, and at the elevation, I could easily see the bunkers through the periscope. It was the advantage of height they had, and thus were targeting us easily.
I was desperate may be because I was hungry, my eyes were pulling down. I had tried eating my sandwich but time and again someone from the other end answered,without even me asking the questions. I slowly pulled out the sandwich and took a bite. I started biting it from every possible side and making various shapes out of it, finished it in 4-5 bites.
I suddenly had an urge to smoke. I wanted it badly. It was dangerous. The flash might be seen in the darkness, and there were enemies watching, but I decided to take the risk.
I had a hand rolled cigarette, held it with my lips, I rolled my fingers over the lighter. I saw the cigarette meeting the flame and almost immediately came an answer. It hit the wall on which I was resting. I lied down parallel to the roof and checked the wall. It was alright until my fingers came through a hole. I knew something was wrong. The bullet had made it to the other side. I could feel the warmth of the blood oozing out.
I was hit in the spines and as I tried to get up, another one passed through my shoulder and I fell flat on the roof. Laying there I waited for my end. I prayed with a belief. A belief that I have always regarded my country as my mother, so she must also be praying to save her son. Slowly after half an hour or so, I started falling drowsy.
The next when I opened my eyes, they were illuminated with light. I was confused as I was alright, completely alright. There wasn’t a hint of pain. I checked, I wasn’t even in the same outfit. I was wearing a one piece cloth,something like a white gown. I felt something around my head covering it, sort of a crown.
I knew I wasn’t alive, this cannot be real. It had to be the afterlife. I felt bad and started feeling completely hollow. I was away from my family members and I knew there was no returning back. With all the thoughts in my mind, I finally broke down and started crying.
Just as I started crying I heard a voice.
“You are crying here, are you sure?”, the voice was loud, clear and bold.
I turned towards the voice and saw a man not old not young, in his early fifties, a vibrant face with a fixed smile and a prominent cut mark on his chin quite fit staring at me. I knew it had to be him, the one, and the almighty. I bent down and held his feet and kept holding it with my eyes closed.
“Are we going to talk like this, by the way what are you doing?”, he looked amused.
“I know you are God”, I said with my eyebrows raised.
”And what made you think so, about me being God?”, he asked.
“I know, you see you are in completely white clothes. It can’t be a mistake. You are the one”, I joined my hands and said.
“From which country are you?”
“India”
“Ohhh…India, so I think you have a lot of ‘me’ sitting in your parliament. I mean most of them are dressed in complete white”, he said.
“Aaahhh… you are actually…”, I scratched my head over this one.
“So who are you? What are you doing here? What is the place and what…”, I was interrupted in between.
“Now you are doing the right thing, I am here to answer questions. Ask me if you have any. Do not hesitate.”, he replied.
“What is this place and how am I here, I don’t remember anything after I got shot”, I asked hurriedly.
“Tell me something, what do you think happened to you?”, he asked me.
“I think I am dead. This is my after life and at present...I am in heaven.”
“It seems you know much than me. I think you last breathed... some 90 seconds back”, he told having a look at his watch.”And anything will seem a heaven when you compare it to the current condition of the place you live in.”, he chuckled.
“You see my mother told me a story when I was a child… ”, I interrupted in between with my query, “I am the only son of my parents, my father died when I was 4.My mother took all the pain and raised me. Now it was my turn, to serve and look after her. Instead I left one mother for the service of another. I joined army, because this was what my father did... and even his father did. They say it is in my genes. You know what genes are…?”,I asked him.
“Yes of course, I mean I have heard about them, some helical structured objects, we can only get to know the thing in detail once James and Frank are here. They still have their time left.”
I was confused with the answer but stuck to my question and continued”…and now I stand here away...from both my country and my mother. My life is a complete failure then. I could neither serve my mother nor my country. You know what my last wish was ‘I have always regarded my country ……’”
“Yes I know, I have always regarded my country as my mother, so she must also be praying to save her son, I heard it."
“Still I am here; it means she didn’t pray for me.”, I asked folding my arms.
“Let me tell you something... As far as the definition goes, A mother is the greatest creation of nature. We can take nothing away from her. It is our duty to meet their prayers and demands before anything else...as they seldom ask anything for themselves. You know a mother is a mother; 'she is not even a woman once she is a mother'. So never again question the faithfulness of a mother”, he said convincingly.
“Ok I am sorry, then tell me if everything was right, why am I here? ”, I was sounding desperate.
“You see the man who deposited two iron pieces in your body had also been hurt badly by your bullet, and his mother was also praying continuously from the time he got wounded.”, he said.
“But they are infiltrators, terrorists; it is our land where they have their bunkers. I am not wrong. I am absolutely right. You are being partial. I was doing what I was supposed to do. I was serving my country.”, I asked.
“And he was serving his, he was carrying out his commands from the superiors, both in the nation’s interests.”, he replied.
“But you know they are wrong, I am right.” I tried hard to justify my point.
“Tell me one thing; who decides your fate and tells you what is right and what is wrong,the group of people sitting in the cabinet do...the procedure is same on the other side. And I am not interested in supporting the views of the bachelor, poet who heads your country or his counterpart, the man who publicly appears with arms and heads the other side.”
“I will tell you a story about a case, the best part is, it’s from your country. You want to hear it.”, he asked.
“Do I have a choice?” , I asked raising my hands sideways.
“No, I don’t think so.”, he answered.
“You know we have a lady who headed your country once. And after her demise it was her son who filled in her shoes. It was not possible for anyone to actually replace her but the most obvious choice was her son. She loved him very much and always wanted him to stay out of the trade. He was too innocent for the post and not as strong as her.”
“Ok I got it, you are talking about Mrs…..”,I spoke in excitement.
“You know the name, even I do. Let us keep it to ourselves. ”, he said hurriedly and I decided to retreat.
He continued. “Every single day after she came here, she spoke to me , she was only worried about her son. She was concerned about his health. The dangers he was in. She was well aware of the troubles he might land himself in by listening to others. I asked her about his friends down there who could have supported him. After a long thought she spoke about one of his friends. She described him as the biggest phenomenon the nation has ever seen.”
“Of course the whole nation is the admirer of Mr….”
“Let us keep it between”, he said.
”…ourselves”, I replied with my thumbs up.
“The problem was...she was not confident about him too. She knew even he won’t be able to support him...due to his own problems, when he will need him the most. She was not ready to see any remorse in his son’s eyes. He was unaware of many things which were shortly about to follow. She worried a lot about him and almost cried every time she showed up.”
“So what did you do?”, I was into the story completely.
“I asked her, what do you want me to do for him. She said she just wanted to hug him tight and tell him everything will be alright. she told whenever he was in trouble, how he would come to her, keep his heads in her laps...tell her that he felt the safest here, she would pat him and he would sleep. She said she wanted to tap his head. Telling this she got up and began to move. Just before leaving she turned back and told, he has not slept properly for ages now it seems. I could clearly see tears rolling down her cheeks. She was not happy. I tried to tell her that even she did not know what she demanded and would later repent it, but her motive was very clear. We kept it.”
“I was in a great fix. All of a sudden we received another prayer from a mother who as been praying continuously. We had to verify why was she praying, what was her motive. It was related to her daughter and we were shocked when we learnt her motive. She was praying for her daughter’s death.”
“I don’t understand. This is a bit unusual. ”, I was surprised.
“A bit…let me tell you the whole part. Her daughter joined a terror outfit about which she come to know only a few days earlier. When she tried to stop her, she found out that she had already stepped out on her mission.”
“What was the mission?”, I asked.
“To assassinate the person who was leading your nation. You get the connection now. The lady has always admired the leader, but somehow could not convince her daughter to do the same. The terror group her daughter joined, convinced her to convert herself into a human bomb and she was on her way to end the life of the most loved leader of your nation. ”
“Her mother constantly wanted her daughter to die, as she had a family after her, and she feared her involvement would only bring her family shame. In addition to this there would be many persons who would simply dye without any cause. Her prayer was noble and the motive unquestioned, one of the best we received. We let both the mother’s wish go through. There was an explosion. The place was such that least number of persons got injured. ”
“What happened to the lady, did she come back to you the next evening?”, I asked curiously.
“No she did not, I went on to look after her and finally spotted her near the spring, with a man resting in her laps peacefully, and she was tapping his head. I understood he was here and she had no more reasons to come back to me.”
“Now I think your case is a bit similar to this. I received prayers from your mother as well. You would be surprised to know what she has demanded...she would only eat after she had heard from you. I feel it was a bit unfair on your part. For that person to live, it was not necessary for you to die...there could have been other measures as well...Also I feel you need to take care of your mother. She is alone and lonely and no one to take care of her. So son you are also wearing white. Just like me and when I was a kid we used to do ‘Same Pinch’”, he smiled.
“Yes , But I don’t understand…eeeeeeeee”, I almost screamed as he pinched me in my arms.
“It hurts boss…ohh”, and he did it again.
“I will pinch you once more son, take care.”, he pinched me for a third time.
And as I opened my eyes, I saw my face illuminated with light. I tried to restrict the light by covering my eyes with my hands, the light was switched off and I turned to my left, to see the windowpane. The reflection was clear. It was a hospital. I saw my reflection and looked the white gown I was wearing...I then quickly touched my head...I felt the skull cap they use for covering the head during operations, probably my crown. I quickly realized the similarity.
I started asking the nurse. What happened to me, how long I have been here and she didn’t respond to any of the questions but instead directed me towards another man. A man not old not young, in his early fifties, a vibrant face with a fixed smile and a prominent cut mark on his chin , quite fit staring at me.
“I am here to answer….”
“…all my questions. I know”, I interrupted him in between.
“Oh Yes, exactly. You know we just had a miracle in your case. We had lost all hopes of getting you back. You were almost dead for five minutes. And then as a last measure we pumped this life saving drug in your body, not once but thrice through injections.”, I smiled.
“Can I make a call, my mother would not have not ate anything.”, I asked him.
“Use my phone.” , telling this he punched the digits as I directed.
“There’s the ring.”, he handed over the phone to me.
“Hello, Maa.”
“Beta, how are you and where are you. You don’t know how relieved I am to hear you.”
“But I am not, why have you not eaten.”
“How do you know this….”, she was surprised.
“Cook , my favorite stuffed tomato, I am coming back , we will have tomorrow’s dinner together.”
“Sure, I am dying to see you.”
“And Maa I love you.”, I hung up telling this and handed over the phone to the doctor. He turned back and started moving out.
“Doctor, will you please come here,”, I called him.
“Thank you and same pinch”, I pinched him in his arms. He smiled and left.
